Loneliness: Socially Harmful, Extremely Unhealthy, Yet Necessary

The modern world is full of technology. People are connected by the internet through many networking platforms including Google, Facebook, and YouTube. Online interactions have become more prevalent in the modern age resulting in a globally interconnected society that thrives off the internet's existence. We would expect that in a generation of new social technology, there would be a surge in the decrease of loneliness. However, it seems that the opposite is happening to us: in the UK alone, 60% of 18-34-year-olds say they often feel lonely. In the US, 46% of the entire population say they feel lonely regularly. This feeling has become chronic for millions and its effects on these individuals are becoming more drastic with time.

Based on this evidence, many make the claim that social networking is making us less social in real life. While one could argue this is the case, there are many other factors that tie into why loneliness is so widespread. But before we look into the cause of loneliness, we need to determine what it is exactly and why it's so bad for us.

A common stereotype is that loneliness only occurs in those who don’t know how to talk to or behave around others. However, this isn't exactly the case. Loneliness is something that can occur in anyone, regardless of social connections, behavior, and way of speech. It's also important to understand that being lonely and being alone are two entirely different things. One is how you are when you have no one close at your side while the other can be a feeling you have even in the presence of friends and family.

Loneliness is a bodily function similar to hunger. When you feel hungry, it is because of having a lack of food consumed. Similarly, being lonely is like having a lack of social activity and collaboration. This can mean declining calls from friends when you’re busy or refusing to go to their party because it interferes with your current schedule. Loneliness was evolved by our brains thousands of years ago as a survival strategy. During that time, humans weren't well equipped enough to fend off predators and hunt large animals on their own. However, when they were together, they could collaborate to take down a mammoth for food or scare away a bloodthirsty lion and have a better chance of surviving. As a result, groups of social, collaborating individuals were better equipped to survive than outcasts were.

Loneliness works like this: when an individual is socially isolated, two kinds of neurons are activated: dopaminergic and serotonergic neurons. These neurons are located in a region of the brain called the dorsal raphe nucleus. Their function is to create emotions that motivate the individual to find a social group into which they can migrate to feel content. These emotions, however, can be mentally harmful if felt often and can even lead to depression. Of course, in the modern era, we don't have to worry as much about lions and food or water shortages but, as our bodies and minds are the same as those of humans from 50,000 years ago, we still have the same mechanisms programmed into our brains from then (including loneliness).

Loneliness has helped us survive in the past but without a good reason for us to be extremely social in our modern society, it almost always becomes a chronic problem for those who are isolated. The problem is, stress from chronic loneliness is one of the unhealthiest things any human can experience: It makes you age quicker, it makes cancer deadlier, it makes Alzheimer’s advance faster, and it makes your immune systems weaker. Chronic loneliness is 2 times as deadly as obesity and just as dangerous as smoking a pack of cigarettes every day of your life.

When it becomes chronic, it also becomes self-sustaining. Loneliness causes you to get worse at interpreting social signals correctly and makes you more receptive and alert at the same time. Your brain could sometimes end up thinking that someone with a neutral expression is actually showing an expression of hostility. The inability to interact socially because of loneliness can cause you to lose friendships and move further away from loved ones. In the end, loneliness can make you appear more cold, unfriendly, and socially awkward than you really are.

Loneliness doesn't sound all that good really, but in our modern society, we may actually need it. Loneliness can be overcome and, in reality, that's its purpose: to be overcome. Loneliness exists when you lack social interaction in your life. The more socially active you are, the less lonely you'll feel and the happier you'll be. Not to mention, being social is a great way to reach out to others and meet new people, some of which, you may even form life-lasting bonds with.

When you feel lonely, don't try to hide from it and pretend it's not there; that will only make the problem worse. Instead, you should accept that you are lonely and find the cause of the loneliness. You should never feel ashamed about being lonely. Everyone goes through at some point in their life and sooner or later, they overcome it. Don't brush it off and act as if there is no problem with you but rather the problem is everyone else. Identify the cause and tackle it head-on. By doing so, your social behavior will dramatically improve and then you can live a more content and fulfilling life with the people who care about you.